Friday, April 16, 2010

Flowing

It has been a while. When I first set up this blog, it was intended to be my personal diary, a journal of my daily life however boring. Unfortunately, this is just another case of life interfering with living. I've been busy with my businesses, other people's businesses, my constant worry over family, friends and of course, my very pregnant mare, the light of my life, Mouse. Between all that business and just plain wasting time which I seem to have a rare talent for, there has been no time to delve into why I live the way I do since I'm too busy living the way I do.

I've been trying to clean out the house and start getting it whipped back into shape again. I'm really trying to prepare for a possible visit from Huston after Mouse's baby is born. At the moment, this hovel is hardly inhabitable by us much less a guest. So, I've been working off and on for the last week just tossing out and boxing up and dividing into necessary and unnecessary all of the junk I've accumulated over the last ten years of my life. It's evidently been a messy and very disorganized decade, the Pig Pen of decades and I have the dust clouds to prove it. I am making progress though with brief pauses for nostalgia and grief whenever I come across a toy or hidden bone that belonged to my Red Fred who died last September or something that reminds me of one of the many family members or friends that I've lost to death and time. It seems that I'm cleaning out much more than a few dusty rooms. I'm packing away some things that emotionally and mentally needed to be put away long ago. I'm not just opening up usable space in my house but also opening up my life to new possibilities. I've been stagnant far too long. I'm ready to start flowing again. It might just be starting with a trickle but I have a very strong suspicion that the flood gates will soon be open and the release will be quite forceful moving me forward once more into life.