Monday, May 7, 2012

I'm embarrassed to admit, I was afraid of the DHC challenge for today, "Take an imaginary bike ride." We were supposed to lie on our back, put our legs in the air and pedal. That sounds simple doesn't it? Well, it wasn't because I have an admission to make, I've not really exercised, except for walking occasionally and taking care of the horses daily, for at least ten years. I'm ashamed to admit that because I use to be very active. If I didn't exercise every day, I felt off as if something was really wrong. And I was known for not only working out with weight equipment and exercise machines up to three hours a day but religiously riding my bike. My husband and I got in our daily bike ride rain or shine, daylight or dark and would ride close to midnight if that was the only time we could fit a ride in. Why am I boring you with this?....because I do know what it's like to be a fanatic about exercise and the way it makes you feel. I haven't forgotten that feeling and would love to get it back but after ten to fifteen years of complete inactivity, I knew that even this simple challenge would be hard. And it was hard. My joints more than my muscles felt the pain. It hurt just to get down in the floor as my knees, ankles, elbows, hips and shoulders all seemed to scream in unison, "What's she doing to us? Doesn't she know, once we get down there, we have to get back up?!" I finally settled onto the floor and after the first few seconds of my body protesting, I started to feel something besides pain. No, it wasn't an exercise high....much too early in the game for that. It was a wonderful warmth that eased those agonized joints. They never completely stopped complaining but they were moving a lot better by the time I finished counting off that very slow one minute that felt more like thirty. I actually felt a bit of elation as I got up from the floor. I didn't even notice if the joints were still waging a protest of this fool hardy endeavor. No, I felt good and I suddenly realized, I can do this. I've used every excuse to put this off, I have to find space for the exercise equipment, I have to clean out and rearrange the basement to get to it,ha, I think I've broken my ankle and it hurts to put pressure on it for very long, I'm too tired-I didn't sleep well-tomorrow will be better. But now, I know something, it was just one minute but I did it and it made me feel good. I can do this. I'm going to do this!

I've added something new to my daily affirmations and it may be my personal mantra for some time. You know that my affirmations have been about productivity but of course, my lack of accomplishment for the last few years have to do with more than just laziness which is what I've always accused myself of. I think these positive affirmations are actually helping me to get to the root of what is really bothering me, what is keeping me stagnant. This pact with my DHC friends is far more difficult and painful than I anticipated. But I'm keeping it up because I see that prize at the end of the month when I know I will feel better about myself and I will be accomplishing a lot more and making every day count for something. As for the new mantra, it's really about patience with myself, "I will accomplish something today. It may not be all I want to accomplish but it will be something and IT will be ENOUGH." And I did accomplish something yesterday. It wasn't everything I had planned but it was something and it was a start on a much bigger project I've been putting off for months and IT WAS ENOUGH! Today, I'll do a little more and before I know it, that one dragon will be slain and I can move on to the next fire breathing beast but by then, I will be much more capable and that big guy will drop in no time.

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