Thursday, January 31, 2013

Yesterday, my friend Val Gibbons posted the video above. It is all about following your dreams and well worth watching.
Today's DHC challenge was to list three words that three different people might use to describe you. This is a very hard challenge for me. I think that women especially always tend to  hear and hold onto negative remarks directed at us much more than we do the positive. I know that certainly has always been my tendency and there have actually been three particular people who seem to have made it their life's goal to make certain that I'm always miserable. I actually dreamed last night about one of those people who has always been unkind to me and in my dream, I let out all of the suppressed anger that I've felt toward them over the years. I shouldn't admit this but it felt good! I know that I have been blessed with so many caring loving people in my life, people who support me and are truly happy for anything I achieve. I've even had people tell me that they admire me, they envy me and my life. I always feel like a big fake when they say those things because I have unfortunately always chosen to listen to those who criticize me more than those that praise me and care for me.
When Val posted the video above, she and I were discussing the fact that we both had followed our dreams. We both have been blessed by being allowed to make a living doing something we love. The only difference is, Val has always been happy in her choices and good luck and I have always been miserable for the most part. Why such a difference? Val has always listened to and followed her own heart while I may have followed my heart but I listened to those who for what ever selfish reason of their own always wanted to hold me back and never wanted me to succeed and when I did succeed they still put me down to the point that I felt more like a failure. When my own insecurities got the best of me and I did stumble, I ignored the support of true friends and listened instead to those negative people who actually told me that they weren't surprised and expected me to fail (exact words used.) Looking back, if I have one regret, it is that I allowed them to control me and manipulate me into being miserable, having doubts and guilt over my successes in life and that because of that control, I never truly enjoyed what I accomplished, I was never truly happy. I've finally realized, at fifty-seven, that I choose whether or not I'm happy. I choose how I feel about myself. There is so much of our lives that we can't control but the one thing we can control is how we feel about our circumstance and the only time we can control that is this moment in time, this second in our lives. So, for this moment, this second, I choose to be happy, I choose to be confident, I choose to be grateful, I choose to be at peace, and finally, I choose to forgive and let go of the anger.

No comments:

Post a Comment