Friday, March 8, 2013

DAY 7 and NEW BEGINNINGS

Okay, the scale revealed no change this morning which is actually a good thing because I rebelled enough this week that I really should have seen a gain instead of a loss. Before you judge me, let me judge myself. This is typical behavior for me when faced with change, I fight it every step of the way. It's as if I have a split personality and there is part of my psyche telling me that I can do this and I'll soon be as svelte and energetic as I was twenty-two years ago while another side of me, the evil twin side, keeps telling me that the sacrifice isn't worth it, I'm bound to fail and so I might as well give into temptation now because if I continue to listen to the other side of me, I'll soon be living in misery without the food that has brought me so much pleasure and comfort. The "good" side is far more logical though. It gently explains to me that those comfort foods have truly not brought me that much pleasure or comfort and in fact, end up making me feel quite miserable. While the "bad" side screams and kicks and bites in protest, its opposite reminds me of how I use to feel when I was at a healthy weight and exercising daily. I was energetic, I was joyful and involved in my life like I haven't been in years. Then it reminds me of how I felt about myself, accomplished for losing weight and getting in shape, in control of my life again (at least to the point any of us are in control of our lives actually), and using my body to show off clothes not clothes to mask my body (as much as a tent can mask an elephant hidden inside.)

I start WEEK TWO tomorrow, day eight and I think I'm finally ready to get serious about this diet, this lifestyle change. I was shocked when I took a look at the yogurt I've been practically living on and discovered that it contains not only fat but saturated fat! Does all yogurt have saturated fat or have I just not been reading the labels as religiously as I should? I plan to start the food diary that I've been promising to start this week so that I know exactly what I'm putting into my body. Also, I plan to start moving. The weather this weekend is supposed to be spectacularly beautiful and warm. So, I'm hoping to not spend all of my time indoors cleaning and painting but a lot of the day outside, playing with my horses and walking. I don't think I'm going to make that run in Knoxville that I was hoping to but maybe I could aim for one in the Fall. That would be far more realistic. And as soon as I feel fit enough to keep up with everyone else without passing out or having a coronary, I'm going to start attending those Zumba classes that my neighbor (country neighbor which is measured in miles not blocks), Yvonne Hicks-Bright was telling me about.

So, I'm putting last week's stumbles and fails behind me and I'm looking forward and going to do my best to live in the moment and cherish and enjoy each precious second of this life.

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