Saturday, June 14, 2014

The diet is going well. I have a different mindset this time. I never had a weight problem until right before my 30th birthday when I suffered a miscarriage. I was depressed and having anxiety attacks and I ate as a way of comforting myself. Over eating and indulging in foods I wouldn't normally eat combined with becoming withdrawn and sedentary after being very active and outgoing previously....well, that seems to be as good a formula as any for extreme weight gain. Oddly, the weight I was then as fat, I would love to get back to again. Of course I would like to lose more but that would be a good place to aim for here at the beginning of what seems like an endless road. I've tried so many times to get this started over the last fifteen years. I know the rules, I figured those out 28 years ago when I finally decided to "do it right" after that initial weight gain. After attempting to lose weight with pills, that I ordered from the back of a magazine no less, and having extreme heart palpitations and getting sick, I headed straight to the grocery store as soon as I was able and picked up some healthy food. I also started exercising. I started off slowly with just walking but later added weights, exercise videos and various machines. Within six weeks, people were amazed at how good I was looking. Within six months, I was in the best shape of my life and feeling great. I also launched my new business during that time and I began to find success at that also. Those were good years and exciting with all of the new things and experiences entering my life. I kept the weight off for fifteen years. Actually, I started gradually gaining after my bike wreck when I was thirty-eight because I became much less active but at first, that was only about five or seven pounds so I thought I could live with that but in my mid-forties, that changed. I started putting on an extreme amount of weight. I think that was an effort to deal with stress also. If you can't fix a problem, change or control it, feed it and I did. Now, I'm getting ever closer to fifty-nine and I've tried before to lose weight and failed but this time, it's different. Why? Well, because of the same reason that I finally hit on the solution 28 years ago, the situation hasn't changed but I have. I do have a different mindset. I'm not only monitoring what I eat which helps to keep me honest but if I am tempted to stray, I simply think, "Does my body really need this? And why do I really want this? Am I feeding a physical hunger or an emotional one?" So far, it is working. I've dropped four pounds since beginning to "watch" (not diet) what I eat on Wednesday. I'm feeling better, I have more energy and I seem to be thinking more clearly. I'm ready to start the next stage and gradually add in exercise, build it up until I'm hopefully back to where I was 28 years ago, at least in time and endurance. I'm headed to the grocery store now and I was just thinking how it mirrors that day years ago. I'm going to buy only healthy foods that will fuel my body and in turn, fuel my ambition and my life to greater heights. I'm really enthusiastic about this and one other thing which I think will lead to success this time instead of another failure, I'm becoming really enthusiastic about myself, I'm learning to love myself and believe in myself. It has been a long journey to these realizations but the elation they bring are immeasurable.

No comments:

Post a Comment